Good day, gentle readers! My name is Hashbrown, and I am here to share some words of wisdom with you: “Stick to the classics, and you can’t ever go wrong.” Just like my namesake, hashbrowns, are a classic breakfast delight, I am a classic English Bulldog delight, in just about every way! But like all good recipes, I’ve got some secret ingredients that make me one of a kind and extra-specially special.
What makes Hashbrown Hashbrown, you ask? Well, if my unbearably handsome face doesn’t convince you of my unique perfection on its own, did you see how I wrangled that ball like an Olympian and brought it right to you? I don’t know a single human who would bring you a ball covered in their precious drool—do you?! And that’s just one of the many things I can do to bring endless joy and silliness to your life.
There’s really nothing better than balls, but I am also a bully stick kind of guy, to be sure, when I’m in the mood to chew on something delicious. Outside of playtime, though, napping is the name of my game, and this Hashbrown is made almost entirely from couch potatoes! While I’m a bit too dignified to climb in your lap of cuddle up close, you will see and feel how happy it makes me to know you’re nearby and safe in the way I seek out companionship with my beloved people. You will also feel it in the way I trust you to give me my eye drops, trim my nails, and keep me clean and feeling good by taking the medication and supplements I need to be my healthiest, happiest self! I give my approval freely, with little twerks of my butt and grumbles of pleasure when I’m happy to see you—which is always!
Being the timeless classic I am (at just 5 years old, no less), if you know about bulldogs, you know a lot about me already! I have the usual proud stubbornness (frankly, I can’t help it that I’m always right!) and all the usual ailments, like dry eyes (that the drops help with), some mild, very treatable allergies, some hair loss, a moderately sensitive tummy (also easily controlled), and a rather noble limp due to painful hips (that medication helps a lot with). When I was found, my ears were in a terrible state, and the long-untreated infections are now cleared up, but they have left me deaf. I am delighted to say that with my foster family’s help, I have risen to all these challenges with courage and have persevered! However, I must admit that because of all the painful experiences I’ve had at the vet, I don’t much like going there. I don’t understand they’re there to help me, so I try to make them leave me alone. My foster mama says I should wear a muzzle there now to make sure everyone (including me) feels safe. I’m not proud of it, and maybe over time with some new, positive memories with kind and helpful friends, I won’t react that way, but I need your patience to help me get past the traumatic times I’ve been through.
I will say, there is one good thing about trips to the vet… the car rides are great fun! Even if I spend most of the time contentedly snoozing on the seat, I love the feeling of the open road and watching the world go by through my window!
Just like at the vet, at home I need to be treated with extra care when I don’t feel well or something hurts so I don’t react poorly and snap at someone I don’t truly want to hurt—I would never actually want to hurt anyone! I’ve just had a hard time of it in life and it’s left me a bit on edge and scared. Now that I’m in much better shape than I was, it’s becoming easier for me to remember that people’s hands are sources of good things like treats and balls, and I’m growing more willing to trust. More than anything, I am hoping to find a home where I’ll be given time to adjust and to feel truly secure and comfortable—could that be with YOU?!
I’m also too dignified to brag; however, I’ve picked up a few tricks along the way in life, so even though I can’t hear you, if you give me hand signals, I know sit, down, and paw/shake! I am also trained to use pee pads, which I rely on overnight especially, or if my humans are away and can’t let me outside. I am not crate trained, and in fact, I patently refuse even to go in and investigate one, no matter what the enticement. But because I’m such a low-key guy and don’t get anxious when left alone, I don’t really need a crate anyway. Also, with my hips, I can’t climb stairs, so I would need to live somewhere where that’s not an issue. I would be happiest living in a quiet house with no kids or other dogs/pets, as I will resource guard with other dogs and get overstimulated pretty easily in general. With my humans, I don’t guard at all, though I like to pretend to when we’re playing my favorite game with my ball! When I meet new people, it takes me a couple of minutes to calm down and get used to the change, but I genuinely like people and am happy to see the occasional guest come by to visit our lovely, peaceful home! So, if your home is just the place for this debonair, classic English Bulldog to add love, companionship, and laughs, please apply to make it so!
