My given name is Theodore but please call me Teddy. Theodore is befitting of a chipmunk and I’m a strong jaw droppingly handsome bulldog. Ladies, if you need a friendly bodyguard, I’m your guy. I will show everybody that you belong to me by jumping in your lap, all 35 pounds of muscley me. Certainly, this will impress all of your people friends, and perhaps make other ladies swoon.

I’ve got so many fine attributes that you may need extra time to take it all in. For starters, I’m house trained and crate trained. I mention this first because it seems to be of utmost importance to you human types. I also get along well with others. The SNORT people always suggest slow introductions. I’ve never met another dog or human that I didn’t like. Little people tend to take exception to a 35-pound missile flying through the air and landing on their lap or sometimes knocking them over like a bowling pin, so children over 5 are best for me to live with. I’m only 3 years old, so sometimes I get zooming around almost faster than my squatty legs can handle. Although funny to watch, the goal is always safety first. Therefore, older children or an adult only home is best for me. And please keep your Waterford crystal and expensive collectables safely tucked away. We all remember the bull in the China shop reference.

My social skills are top notch. I do not even bark at rabbits or squirrels! I believe in respecting all who cross my path in life. I’ve got perfect leash manners and will hardly ever embarrass you in public. I ride well in the car and love to go to the pet store to meet people and pick out a new toy or treat. My favorite toy is Stitch. Maybe we can watch Milo and Stitch while I sit on your lap and share a small bowl of popcorn.  I enjoy other toys too – my tug rope, my ball and Churro yak cheese chews. Yum. My favorite thing to do is snuggle as closely as possible to you. If I could crawl into your skin,  I would. That close.

The only physical complaint I have is a prior skin infection effecting my facial wrinkles and paws. The infection is fully cleared and the recommendation going forward is to avoid chicken in my diet and monitor my wrinkles, keeping them free of debris. When I check the mirror, I want to look my best.

French Bulldog Magazine recently interviewed me and asked me what my dream job would be. I’ve given this a lot of thought and decided I want to be a Walmart greeter. I am very socially appropriate for a 3-year-old, so I know I have the personality to work with the public.  It’s ok if you don’t work at Walmart (and they seem to like to hire people instead of dogs), but in all honestly, I’d love a mom or dad who would be able to take me to work with them, at least some of the time.  When I’m around people most of the time, I’m truly at my happiest.

Manners are of top importance to me. I know ‘sit’ and ‘eat’ – I will not approach my bowl until you give me the ok. I’m working on ‘stay’ and ‘leave it’.  The sky is the limit for the things you can teach me and the goals I can complete. My foster parent will tell you that I’m happy, trusting and well adjusted. Sadly, my prior owner had to surrender me due to a busy work schedule and only wanting what was best for me. My ideal home would involve someone who is able to include me in their social activities and perhaps take me to work with them. I’m young, inquisitive and social. I want to be included, not left behind.

If you think you are my perfect side-kick, complete an application for not so humble me, and please refer to me as Teddy, not Theodore.

Now go on — have a great day and welcome to Walmart.